“How Can We Truly Show Filial Piety?”

I recall the words of a pastor who once said, “Parents need to be healthy for us to be filial. It’s heartbreaking, but you can’t truly fulfill your filial duties to parents who suffer from dementia.” These words resonated deeply with me, especially after reading a newspaper article about a family who mistreated their parent with dementia before eventually sending them to a nursing home—a modern-day tale of abandonment.

Having conducted multiple seminars on brain health and dementia for elderly residents in nursing homes, I’ve come to realize a sobering truth: there are far more cases like the one in that article than I had ever imagined. The sadness and shock I felt upon meeting these abandoned elders were profound. It led me to ask myself, Did these children treat their parents this way from the very beginning?

Through conversations with these individuals, I came to understand a shared reality. In the early stages of their parents’ dementia, many children made every effort to provide heartfelt care, tirelessly attending to their parents day and night. However, as time wore on, the strain took its toll—draining their energy, destroying their routines, and shattering their financial stability. For many, the final desperate decision was to send their ailing parents to a nursing home.

Initially, I felt anger toward these children for seemingly abandoning their parents. But as I thought further, I began to empathize with their circumstances. Consider their predicament: parents who no longer recognize their own children, who cannot communicate, and who require constant attention around the clock. Add to that the financial strain of medical bills and medications, the relentless worsening of symptoms, and the guilt of feeling that no amount of care is ever enough.

Dementia doesn’t just affect the person diagnosed—it devastates the entire family. It breaks down communication, burdens children with guilt, and dismantles the very structure of familial harmony. It is one of the most heart-wrenching diseases—not just because of its effects on the patient, but because of the suffering it inflicts on everyone around them.

What child could forget the love of parents who gave them life and nurtured them? Is there any child whose heart doesn’t ache as they watch their parents grow frail, with more white hairs and wrinkles appearing each day? The best way to care for aging parents, especially when it comes to dementia, is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Preventing dementia is the greatest act of filial piety one can offer.

If early symptoms of dementia begin to appear, it is wise for children to take swift action to prevent further cognitive decline. While parents are still in good health, ensuring they consume foods that help prevent dementia and assisting them in leading a joyful and fulfilling life is both a child’s duty and, ultimately, a responsibility to themselves.

Once a parent living under the same roof is diagnosed with dementia, the concepts of a happy, laughter-filled home and an ordinary family life may lose their meaning entirely. This situation goes beyond simply fulfilling or neglecting one’s filial responsibilities. Allowing early signs of dementia in elderly parents to go untreated until it progresses to an irreversible state only leads to regret—a regret that serves no purpose once the damage is done.

“Life Begins at 60”

Imagine the beauty of seeing our parents, who have worked tirelessly to build social and economic stability, and poured their love into raising us, now reaping the rewards of their labor. Witnessing them enjoy their golden years with their grandchildren is surely one of the most heartwarming sights for us as their children.

Let’s hold on to hope. There is still so much we can do for our parents. Before they grow older, let’s start today—right now—to do something meaningful for them. This is the essence of filial piety, and ultimately, it is also an act of love and responsibility for ourselves.